How do I regulate?

Regulation is a therapeutic term I use to describe moving through your nervous system. It’s about being able to help yourself move through different states of nervous system arousal.

Most people start to look for therapy when they struggle to regulate or stay stuck in one nervous system state for what feels like too long for them.

Recognising a dysregulated nervous system is the first step. It can feel like overwhelm, heart palpitations, rumination, feeling unsettled, shallow breathing, shaking and more. When the body is really activated, it can feel like there is too much energy. This can feel like anxiety, worry, scared, angry, and frustration.

It can also be the opposite, where you don’t feel like you have enough energy, you can feel lethargic, unmotivated, dissociated, tired, or numb. Feeling helpless and stuck.

All of these are signs of a dissociated nervous system and can be an indication that your body feels like it is in fight or flight or a freeze response.

The body is responding to its perception of what is going on and responding in a way that it thinks is helping you. The only problem is when there is no real threat. Sometimes the body can be remembering old triggers, which is setting off your nervous system in a state to protect itself from a time before.

So how can therapy help? Learning your nervous system is the first step to understanding what is going on. It can take you from a position of your experiencing self to a different part of you observing what is going on. This helps to cultivate curiosity. Recognising what is going on can be the first step to then finding what you need to help you out of a dysregulated state.

Therapy works uniquely with you to help guide you through your nervous system. The therapist helps to take away the confusion and adapt it for you in a way that feels digestible. A trauma-informed practitioner can help. I also strongly advocate for somatic therapy to work with the body.

I wish i could give a quick fix tip here at the bottom that could just fix your nervous system; however, unfortunately, it doesn’t work like that. I am a big advocate for breathing techniques and yoga but even those need a bit of help in finding the right one for you. Working with dysregulation is like trying to ride a bike it takes consistency and time. In fact a really great video on Youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MFzDaBzBlL0 where someone shows how difficult it is to retrain our brain and body connection, however, it can be done. He does this by switching the pedals and learns how to ride his bike backwards which takes months!

If your reading this post thank you for reading and remember, you’re learning how to rewire your brain and nervous system it takes time and compassion!